Smirnoff Events Jinxed?

Attending the Smirnoff Raev It Up party last Satoe, I couldn't help but wonder if all events hyped up by the liquor brand are jinxed. Why? Well, not because a couple of my boyz got 'nambe tisad' yaani, they were pigwad ngeta (that always happens at major gigs at Carni), but because even media dudes were getting beaten up and robbed! It's like everytime Smirnoff and Carni hook for a major gig - tragedy strikes! Am not going to discuss the events that transpired a couple of years back, but last Sato is an event I would soon like to forget.
My question is; kwani what cuts whenever Smirnoff throws a major bash at Carni? Is it a jinx or what? Hola at me people...

Jua's Moto Keeps On Burning!

Just when you thought JuaCali’s star can’t shine any brighter, he outdoes himself and illuminates the entertainment world even more! Dude has recently received a nomination nod from the UK based MOBO Awards. Over the weekend, he received to gongs at the Kisima Awards. Motorola, Cadbury and Protex are riding high with his endorsements deals and his name keeps pulling in the crowds by the thousands. Just how did JuaCali get to put a chokehold on the entertainment industry?
Now, we all know that the Chaguo La Teeniez Awards have always been the Kenyan music industry trendsetter. Early this year teeniez endorsed JuaCali as the Teeniez Male Artist and Teeniez Role Model. Less than a month after that, JuaCali was the proud ambassador of mobile phone brand Motorola. It is no secret that his cult-like status amongst Kenya’s youth was confirmed during the April awards ceremony, but the greater revelation about his larger-than-life persona was his confirmation as the official Teeniez Role Model. From then on, the corporate world saw him as a ‘safe’ brand and decided to exploit his star status. Since his sterling performance at the CHAT Awards, it has been a hectic celebrity life for the California Estate resident, born Paul Nunda. If there is any musician right now; Urban Pop, Genge, Boomba Pop, River Road, Gospel, Choir…just about any genre you can think of, none is enjoying celebrity endorsement status like JuaCali. The Eastlands rapper is currently enjoying a Motorola ambassador endorsement and has been taking time out to showcase the Motorola W Series of handsets, with appearances, signings and performances. "Jua Cali is part of the Motorola family and we have been honoured to have worked with them in the recent past," said Joanne Doyle, Motorola marketing manager for East Africa. "Jua has been a great ambassador and like Motorola, is all about creativity, style and substance so we could not be happier that his hard work has been recognized…," she said.
With his star shooting higher to the heavens, could this be the beginning of the birth of true Kenyan celebrities? Music superstars who not only command celebrity status in top magazines like The Insyder, but also command endorsement dollars? Or is JuaCali just a flash in the pan, and his superstar bubble is just about to burst and return him to being a mere newspaper pullout celebrity?

Is Smirnoff Promoting Drink n’ Drive?

So with the launch of Smirnoff Ice’s Raev It Up promo last Friday, is the Vodka concoction promoting drink driving? Forgive this blogger for being invective but n***a pliz – the more Smirnoff Ice you drink, the higher your chances of winning a pimped out Subaru? That sounds like a Drink-Drive promotion to me. And to exacerbate the situation, the pimped cars being given out are no ordinary moto-garis, they are pimped out Subarus; 4WD road monsters famous for their sprightly acceleration and lightning speed! People, help me out here, quite honestly I’d like to win one of those pimped-out Subaru’s lakini let’s be real here an alcoholic beverage is the wrong product to be giving out a sports car in a volumes-driven promotion.
This, as you already know, is simply my opinion (and you know what they say about opinions…hata wewe uko na yako) – so I want you to give me yours. Have your say and comment about my thoughts…

Smirnoff Throws Some D’s On Subaru’s

Vodka keroro Smirnoff Ice launched a sick promotion called RAEV IT UP last Friday. Forget all the lame ads you’re seeing in the media and billboards, here’s the deal: Nunua Smirnoff Ice, underneath the cap will be a code, SMS the code to 2828 and wait to win one of 3 pimped-up Subaru Legacy’s, or 250,000 bob in hard cash to either pimp your wardrobe, diggz or car! Is that sick or what?!

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Mi Si Like Ngoma Ya Abbas!

Damn it Doobz, why did you have to go and mess everything up?! I mean, you’ve been like killing it in every track you’ve unleashed in the last 5 years, so why did you have to take us back to the dark days of ‘aping’ MC’s from the states? Dude, you’ve got a style that kicks and lyrical skills that can hold their own against virtually any MC on the globe; why did you have to go and do a joint that makes you sound like a cheap a** Rick Ross bootleg?
You’re my boy and all, but I have to lay it down like it is; your latest outing sucks! ‘Mi Na Like Chapaa’ reduces you to an MC who thinks he sounds better by following the crowd. Man, you’re above that! Abbas Kubaff doesn’t follow the masses, he stirs up the masses! You ain’t a follower young blood, you’re an innovator. Rick Ross should be biting your style and not the other way round. The moment an artist loses his style and tries to adopt one that belongs to another artist, then that artist (Abbas) has lost direction and is by essence ‘a mtumwa’!
I won’t comment on the production that has been put into this track coz I don’t want to demoralize an MC who I have much respect for, but in future, let’s not release such matope! Save it for the young cats trying to break into the game.

Akon Sorry For Kutaing Under 15 Girl’s Vitu

How Akon 'Kutad the Vitu' in Trinidad

Girl, u make me feel like i've just walked out of lock down... Shake your booty, booty...

Kuta vitu...kuta vitu...hata wa Trinidad...

There has been a lot of talk of Akon’s new song ‘Sorry.’ Since am like the most connect blogger in the country, I was finally able to get my hand on it, the title is pretty self-explanatory, the geezer calls it ‘Blame It On Me.’ He apologizes for some of the mistakes that he’s made in the last 30 days, and most of all for him being the reason Verizon (Safaricom ya statoe) pulled Gwen Stefani as a sponsor. If you reside in Mars, then you should know that Akon performed a highly suggestive dance at a night club in Trinidad with a girl who was only 14. The only difference between him and Kellz is that they both had their clothes on… at least their trousers.
Akon’s relationship with Gwen Stefani might have gone sour after Verizon wireless dropped the sponsorship for her “Sweet Escape” tour. As you all remember Akon recently apologized to Gwen for the controversy surrounding his Trinidad concert. It appears that the public apology wasn’t enough because Akon’s singing about his sorrows.In a new song called “SORRY”, Akon apologizes to Gwen in regards to humping a 14 year old at his concert in Trinidad. He mentions how he had no idea she was underage since it all went down at a 21 and over club. Akon also goes on to say that her father, who is a priest, should have known where his daughter was at that time. He ends the song with a apology to Gwen for all his actions. We are pretty sure Gwen and her camp were pretty upset over the loss of a big sponsorship. We’re talking about millions of dollars at loss and these days a tour is the only way artists even make money so you do the math. It must be really bad for an artist to take the extra step and make melodies to show his apologies.

Timbaland Smashes German Racist

Timbaland beat the cr*p out of some guy name Robert F. who called him a ‘Nigger’ at a bar in Germany. Robert K was sent to the hospital and Timbaland straight to the slammer. Timbaland was bailed out for U$ 1,000 and it is not clear whether he will stand trial for being insulted. Anyway, Germany still has some serious racism issues more than half a century after Hitler.

Raw & Unkut

The south is running sh*t right now and they seem to be unleashing MC’s just as fast as the hits. Before you could even say Young Joc, out pops another cat, this time a DJ who’s got lyrical skillz. Unk (formerly known as Unknown and DJ Unknown, born Anthony Platt) is a rapper from the ATL. UNK began spinning records in 1998. After meeting DJ Jelly and DJ Montay, he joined their DJ entourage, and the crew started wrecking the party scene with under name Southern Style DJs. They performed for high school parties, proms, pep rallies, and other events around the state of Georgia. In 2000 one of the south’s most revered and influential kingpins, Big Oomp signed Unk to his label, Big Oomp Records. Unlike other underground cats who release a series of albums before hitting the big time, Unk has proven he is a cut above the rest.
His debut album ‘Beat’n Down Yo Block!’, produced by Big Oomp under Koch Records, was an instant hit. Unk stormed into the global hip hop scene with the blazing, high energy single “Walk It Out.” But Unk didn’t just walk off with his first hit, he ran for glory and was blessed this year when he unleashed his second monster hit ‘2 Step.’ Both singles got to the number one spot in the US Hip hop/R&B charts. With the release of his album, Unk could well be on his way to becoming the south’s new hip hop voice. Now walk it out to the next story…

Why Young People Can Never Lead Kenya

Vijana tunaweza gutuka, lakini hatuwezi ongoza!
This blog is getting political despite teeniez’ apathy towards the dirty game. Am I doing the right thing by getting political and straying away from the entertainment scene? Maybe not. But this being an election year, you can’t get away from the murky topic of politics.
Back to my mantra above (no disrespect to what the Vijana Tugutuke group are doing, your work is really appreciated); everyone seems to be of the opinion that young Kenyans (to be politically realistic, these are people aged between 25 – 35) are going to take up leadership of the country. I have only this to say for the people who believe in this school of thought: IN YOUR DREAMS!
First things first; what leadership are young people taking up? It would have to be parliamentary seats. Why do I say this? A parliamentary seat, means that you can be appointed into ministerial position and therefore wield power to control government policy. To win a parliamentary election you need money, which often translates to influence. To make money, you largely need to have lived long enough to accumulate a substantial amount of wealth to fund your campaign. To be influential, you need to have lived long enough to make the necessary friends who allow you to have this power. In addition, to hold public office you need to portray leadership and trust qualities. To be a trustworthy leader, you need some sort of leadership experience. If you’re a political novice, the only experience you can count on is professional. To stand out as a professional leader, you need to have worked many years to rise to top management positions in order to display your potential. Even the youth won’t vote for an aspirant who does not portray leadership attributes.
So, whichever way you look at it, being young is a major disadvantage. Realistically, with the exception of about 5 – 10 individuals, the youngest age of an MP in the next parliament will be 40. And even for those exceptions, the only reason they will make it to parliament is because of political patronage, ‘inheritance’ of a seat once held by a family member or through brilliant entrepreneurial skills that have led to an accumulation of enough wealth and influence to guide them to the August House. What say you?

It’s About Time We Had Condom Dispensers in School

Studies conducted on HIV and STI prevalence in society have proven time and again that the most at risk group are the people aged between 15 – 24. This means that more than half of the population who are at highest risk of contracting HIV & STI’s are still in high school! Furthermore, it is also a fact that the 15 – 24 age group also have the highest HIV & STI infection rates in the land. So, they are not only at high risk of contracting HIV/STI’s, they are also contracting these infections at alarming rates! Faced with these chilling facts, why is society burying its head in the sand? Kenya’s youth are not getting HIV/AIDS through osmosis, they are contracting the disease through sexual intercourse. They are having sex in school, in the bus, in the labs, in the dorms, in the nightclubs…everywhere they get the opportunity. It’s no secret. Nothing we do or say will encourage (or entice) them to have sex, because they already are. In huge numbers! So please do away with this paradigm or thought; Giving youth easy access to condoms will only encourage them to have sex. This thought is rubbish and anyone who believes this is living in a fools’ paradise. The statistics speak for themselves, the youth are not only engaging in sex in wild abandon, but they are also doing it carelessly. One way we can ensure that they do not get infected (because whether we like it or not, they will engage in sex), is to ensure that condom dispensers are readily available in high schools and colleges around the country. Let’s not argue too much about this, coz quite obviously this is what should be done. What do you think?

Tribute To A Hip Hop Luminary

REMEMBERING E SIR

Why Kenya’s High School Education System Is Biased

Why is it that the same 10 or so ‘Ivy League’ schools always top the KCSE examinations list? Are Kenya’s youth condemned to mediocrity and the lack of a quality tertiary education should they not get a place in these ‘Ivy League’ high schools? This blog has beef with Kenya’s high school education system. Here’s why: This blog strongly believes that all schools classified as ‘Government’ should offer their students the same quality of education – unless of course, the government feels that some of its citizens deserve better treatment than others.
Even in countries where ‘Ivy League’ schools truly exist, they are usually private institutions, and not government owned. Reason being that private school owners can fork out tones of cash to recruit the very best teachers and buy top notch learning facilities. For the majority of the denizens who can’t afford to attend these high cost Ivy League schools, they are left with no alternative but to join government funded schools. Why then, should the government further discriminate on the children of its tax payers by creating some schools that are equipped with better learning facilities than others? Shouldn’t all government schools have the same learning facilities? Shouldn’t every teenie in Kenya have an equal opportunity to get to a university or college education? The reason school fees and other related costs at the so called National Schools are so high is because there is no equitable distribution of educational facilities. It simply does not make economic sense for a student to travel all the way from Mombasa to Thika to study in an ivy league National School. If there was no discrimination in the equitable distribution of high school facilities, there would be no need for this student to endure the torture of traveling 500 kilometres to get a quality education – she would get that education in Mombasa.
As we once again congratulate Starehe Boys Centre for topping the KCSE exams, we should ask ourselves one question; if all the high schools had, more or less, similar educational facilities, and the criteria for recruiting high school students was based on geographical proximity rather than intellectual hierarchy, would the same schools keep topping the national high school examinations? The answer is most probably, no. At the end of the 4 years, shouldn’t your entry into a tertiary level institution be dictated by your intellectual input and not the school you attend? What say you?

Give the Oscar to Joseph Olita

Credit should be given where it is due – Forest Whitaker largely deserved to win the Oscar last night. Justice should be served where it is wanting – Joseph Olita deserved to win the Oscar 16 years ago for his portrayal of former Ugandan despot Idi Amin Dada in the classic epic The Rise and Fall of Idi Amin. To date, the movie remains the most watched movie in Kenyan history, surpassing even The Passion of the Christ.
A huge majority of subscribers to this blog will most probably not have watched the 16 year-old epic, since they must have been like 2 or 3 years old when the classic was released, but this does not mean they should hear about it. Produced by the late Sharad Patel (who was also a Kenyan citizen), The Rise and Fall of Idi Amin was a movie about the true story of the Ugandan military dictator. Legend has it that Joseph Olita played Idi Amin so well that Idi Amin himself swore (he had then been disposed and was in exile in Saudi Arabia) that if they ever crossed paths, he would kill him with his bare hands. Of course Idi Amin is long since dead and Joseph Olita’s international acting career failed to take him to Hollywood.
So good was Olita at playing Amin that in preparation for his great performance, Whitaker surely must have benefited from a study of The Rise and Fall of Idi Amin. In fact, we in Africa aren’t really surprised that the professional critics have not noted, reminded, or even compared Olita's previous very stunning portrayal of Amin. Most objective critics would admit that if you compared Olita’s and Whitaker’s portrayal of Amin, the former stands heads and shoulders above.
But such is the tragic case of Africa; ignored by the west and the world in general, despite its great contribution to the world of entertainment. And when the world and Hollywood finally directs some attention towards this glorious continent, the characters playing leading roles in stories about the continent, are not African!

On The Verge

Chiwawa & DNA

Who will be the next Kenyan artist to blow? 2007 is only in its second month but the battle to claim the title of ‘Hottest New Artist’ is intensifying with every week. Already, 8 new acts have been nominated in the CHAT Awards ‘Teeniez Surprise Artist’ category, with Wambui (of Calif), CLD, Chiwawa and Maleek looking as red hot favourites. So who do you think 2007 belongs to? We think it could be between Bobby (The Buggz), Maleek, DNA & Chiwawa, what do you think?

Throwing Some D’s On This Blog

Y’all must have heard Rich Boy’s runaway hip hop hit “Throw Some D’s” by now, so ama get straight to the point: what the heck is Rich Boy talking about when he says “D’s?” I mean the song is tight and everything, the track is off the hizzo, but a lot of peeps are curious and wondering what the cat is talking about. Especially when a 9 minute remix to the hit song has been done and it features an all-star lineup consisting of The Game, Lil Jon, Nelly, Andre 3000, Murphy Lee, Rick Ross, Kanye West, Juelz Santana and Jim Jones.
Now, that’s where I come in…(you’re gonna love me for this). In his hit track Rich Boy is referring to installing Dayton Wire Rims on a car. Dayton Wire Rims, often referred to as “Daytons” are like the Nike’s of car rims and have been popular by rap music. So the next time your bumping your head to Rich Boy’s latest hit track, you can educate your crew on exactly what the new kid is talking about.
Rich Boy’s self-titled debut album is set to be released on March 13th.
Check out the "Throw Some D's" video below...

Why ‘Lost’ Has Lost Steam As A TV Show

Reports reaching this blog indicate that popular drama series ‘Lost’ crashed in the ratings this week, hitting an all-time low for a new episode. The American Broadcasting Corporation’s (ABC) drama about plane crash survivors stranded on a mysterious island drew an estimated 12.8 million viewers. That was well off the peak of more than 20 million for the drama that became an instant sensation when it launched in September 2004. ABC has worked hard to try to protect a show that helped turn the network's fortunes around, moving it to 10 p.m. on Wednesday’s this year, to steer clear of Fox's blockbuster "American Idol" and CBS's increasingly strong "Criminal Minds." After all is said and done, there's no question that "Lost," once riding big ratings, buzz and cachet, has lost significant ground. This is no different in Kenya, “Lost” seems to have lost the plot and is becoming more confusing and moving further away from answering the question to the island’s mystery. That’s why I insist that 5 seasons later, 24 is still the number one TV series in Kenya's DVD bootleg market. And that Season 5 of 24 is the best ever produced (better than even Season 2 and 3).
I also insist that there's no reason for TV stations spending lots of cash bringing us old episodes of popular TV series like 24 and Lost coz we've all watched them by the time they hit the local TV stations (thanks to bootleg DVD's, of course). What say you?

Who Are These Uppah Dudes???

I was browsing thru myspace.com and came across a video clip of some Uppah dudes who can really move. 5 seconds into the clip and I knew these cats had mad skillz, check out the dude in the white addidas kicks, meeeeeeen that boy can move. Dance-O-Mania, eat your heart out! What were you doing, couldn't you guyz spot the real talent, or should The Insyder do all the work for you corporate cats who have noe idea where the real teens be at?
Can anyone tell this blog who these cats are and ask them if they are down with performing at the CHAT Awards this April. To check out the clip of these Upparians, CLICK HERE...

Or btter still, watch this video peeps by clicking below.........

Kenya

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Are Celebrity Hook Ups Publicity Stunts?

The recent rumours of a hook up between hip hop mega star 50 Cent and Crunk n’ B vixen Ciara have raised the question of whether celebs hook up simply for the publicity. This hook up comes hot in the heels of Ciara and Bow Wow’s recent split. 50 Cent himself went out with movie star Vivica Foxx. Other notable hook upee’s include Jay Z & Beyonce, JD & Janet Jackson. Now, the question we are asking is; do celebrities hook up simply to raise their stock value? Are these hook ups purely publicity stunts meant to increase media coverage and ultimately sell records? What do you think?

Taking Back The Youth Entrepreneurship Fund

You know, there’s so much hype and talk about the Youth Entrepreneurship Fund, but the people who seem to be making all the noize are like kendu forte nine. You see, the only reason these ma ‘over 35’ babaz and mamaz are vybing so much is because they think our young age makes us ignorant about the Youth Entrepreneurship Fund. So, peeps at TheInsyder.com have decided to arm teeniez with knowledge, coz y’all know that knowledge is power. Let us not let these mbuyuz get away with our cheddar. Peeps, it’s time we took control of what is ours, but the only way to do it, is to know how to go about it. So we’ve come up with tips, advice and ideas to make it easier for you to get paid. Our first piece is on the BUSINESS RULES…check out www.theinsyder.com for the complete story

What's The Ideal Price for a Kenyan CD?

Okay, so we’ve made a great deal of noise about how Kenya’s music is dead. In fact, we’ve had to temporarily stop correspondence on this topic coz peeps have been pretty emotional about this topic. So here’s the deal, how much should a copy of your favourite Kenyan artist’s CD cost? I say 300 bob! Why?

If you buy 10,000 CD’s in bulk from any dealer, it will cost you about 8/- per CD

Printing 10,000 CD’s, plus printing on a paper (not plastic) case will cost 50/ - per CD

Mastering an album will cost you 5/- per CD

Mass producing 10,000 recorded CD’s will cost you 30/ per CD

Studio recording and producing an album will cost you 2/- per CD

Authorizing distributors in River Road to take your product to the consumer will be 50/- per CD

Total Cost: 195/-

Recommended Retail Cost: 200/- onwards but not more than 300/-

The Insyder.com Launches Kenya’s First Ever Celebrity Week

TheInsyder.com has kicked off the exclusive and Kenya’s first ever online weekly feature focussing specifically on celebrities – the "CHAT Awards Celebrity Week." The celebrity week will bring you face to face with your favourite celebrities and give you private and deep insights through incisive interviews by celebrated Entertainment Editor of The Insyder magazine, Grace Kerongo.

The CHAT Awards Celebrity week jumps off with ex-Starch MC Jahmani, purveyor of the hit trax “Haters” and “Kiswahili.” Many of you will remember Jahmani won a CHAT Award in 2005 for Favourite Male Artist in the Schools Category - can he make the giant leap in this year’s edition? Jahmani expressed his burning ambition not only to lift the coveted teen gong, but to become a major player in Kenya’s hip hop game. “I have done three songs with Ukoo Flani,” Jahmani told TheInsyder.com. “I’m planning on releasing a song done by Ogopa next week, so watch out for it.” For those wishing to vote for Jahmani, his SMS voting codes are:

Teeniez Surprise Artist: B1, D8

Teeniez Rising Star: B4, D5

Other celebrities lined up to feature in the CHAT Awards Celebrity Week include multi-CHAT Award winner Redsan, Maleek, Shaun, Doobiez, JuaCali, Swaleh Mdoe amongst countless others. This year’s Fanta CHAT Awards will be held on April 14^th at the KICC Celeb Dome from 10am – 6pm. Tickets go on sale beginning March.

Kenyan Music Is Dead!

Once a year, The Insyder’s Blog does a report on the state of Kenya’s urban music industry and calls it, “The State of the Ngoma.” This is the State of the Ngoma report for the past year, 2006.

Ladies and gentlemen, the State of the Ngoma is lifeless. Let me rephrase; it’s DEAD! I ain’t Nas, but the bitter truth of the matter is that our urban music industry doesn’t need life support, it needs a mortician. It’s dead and on the way to the cemetery. Unless….

First things first; we have to find out what caused the demise of Kenyan music. The primary suspect has to be the hardcore criminal who always goes unpunished – the pirate. Piracy has shot down the success of Kenyan urban music for decades, and until today, remains a tough nut to crack for law enforcement officers. Perhaps the hungry lions at KRA should be notified that the music industry has the potential to rake in billions of shillings in taxes…this should get them putting pressure on the law enforcement officers to ensure piracy is checked. Piracy may be our number suspect, but I believe there is another primary culprit who should be investigated…

I have strong reason to believe that you, yes, the moron reading this blog, are responsible for the demise of Kenya’s urban music. As far as music fans go, the Kenyan version are the most ungrateful. The bigger and more popular a Kenyan musician is, they more they will scorn him/her. They’d rather spend 1,000 bob to go to the bar and drink themselves silly and not spare even 500/- every three months to buy Kenyan music. And if they do buy Kenyan music, it is the 300 bob bootleg version! When the artist decides to have a concert, they’d rather watch the music video on Xtreeme Music on Citizen TV. The fan in Uganda, Tanzania, Congo, Nigeria and South Africa are the complete opposite – no wonder the music industries in those countries are so doing well.

But don’t make any conclusions yet, there is still another suspect I need to interrogate before making the final arrest. That suspect is a medium like this one. Yes, we the media are key players in the demise of Kenya’s urban music. In an industry that has barely been conceived, we have aborted it with trivial negative publicity. A successful musician (who sells records and packs stadiums) can only serve to sell blogsites, websites, newspapers and magazines. The media has cut down the musician to the extent that the general public thinks he/she has absolutely no entertainment value. The media is a key suspect who may be solely responsible for delivering to us a stillborn music industry.

A sleuth, I may not be, but after looking at the evidence presented to me I am left with no doubt that the cause of Kenya’s music death was self inflicted. That’s right – it’s suicide! Our musicians have killed their own industry. When they’re busy playing the blame game, entrepreneurs - often mistaken as pirates, are busy raking in the big bucks. Listen people, it’s not the government, pirates (entrepreneurs?), the media or the fans who are to blame for the death of Kenya’s music – it’s you, the musician. Why is it that an entrepreneur (pirate?) in River Road can sell at least 50,000 units of Wyre's album and Kevin himself cannot even hit 5,000? Coz the entrepreneur sees an opportunity - there's demand for Kenyan music, but the musicians are not supplying their authentic product to the masses. Enter mista businessman who see's this glaring opportunity, (you see why I refer to pirates as entrepreneurs? - they are fulfilling a demand).

The Kenyan music consumer doesn’t want to spend 800 bob to buy an album, he reserves that kind of mullah for the top international stars. The purchaser of music in Kenya does not want to spend a cent over 300 bob! Sure, a product that retails at 300/- will not look as classy and stylish as Jay Z’s "Kingdom Come", but the musician has to remember that they are not selling to an American audience. What would you rather have; a stylish looking album but no sales or one that doesn't look too classy but is selling by the tens of thousands?

Musicians have to realise that they are in a business and to survive they have to compete with street entrepreneurs. If bulk CD’s and tapes from China and South East Asia now sell for less than 20 bob, machines that print on CD’s and tapes retail at about 15k, and the cost of music production, mastering, distribution and marketing is pretty negligible, then the average cost of 1 album will not be over 100 bob! Musicians have to realise that no one is going to mass produce the music for them without wanting to make a profit for himself/herself. They have to wake up and understand that no one will create a distribution network for them or market their albums for free. Musicians in Kenya have succeed on their own, all other parties will merely support them where they can.

Kenya’s music is dead and only the musician can resurrect it.

Oliech Could Be Headed To The Prem

News reaching this blog indicates that ex-Kamu High protégé Dennis Oliech just might be headed to the English Premiership. According to Oliech’s agent, Jean-Christophe Thouvenel, the 20 year old striker could be making a move across the channel to England’s biggest sports league once the January transfer window opens. Thouvenel did not divulge information as to which English premiership clubs may want the striker, but sources close to the striker confirm to us that Sheffield United could be the team that might be getting his signature.

Sheffield United recently armed manager Neil Warnock’s war chest with US$ 9.75m (KShs. 682.5m) for the January transfer window and he’s already admitted that he’s looking for two foreign stars to bolster his attack. In addition, Sheffield United have made eight players available for transfer in January, and a further available for loan. These include Ade Akinbiyi, Paul Ifill, Steve Kabba, Li Tie, Geoff Horsfield, Chris Lucketti, Alan Wright, Neil Shipperley and David Unsworth. This should bring in some more funds for the club and create openings for 1 or 2 strikers. Already, Neil Warnock has expressed his desire to bring in some real quality this month, and has his mind set on a striker and a creative midfielder. Speaking to the Sheffield Star, Warnock said, “Because we've been doing well I'm now looking to bring in one or two players of real quality. Definitely a striker and probably a creative midfielder as well.' Although Warnock has admitted to looking abroad for this new talent, he has also emphasised the need to keep the balance right in the squad. He further added, “I'd like to strike a happy medium between English and overseas players, but we're looking to Africa, Europe and elsewhere.” It definitely looks like Neil Warnock and Oliech’s agent Thouvenel could be sipping for a cuppa tea in the next few weeks.

Oliech’s options are still open as French clubs Sochaux and RC Lens have also expressed interested for East Africa’s most expensive player. While FC Nantes interim coach George Eo may not see much use for Oliech in his current squad, the striker scored a goal in Nantes’ 4 -0 thrashing of Toulouse in the year’s last game on December 23^rd. Seems George Eo was wrong about Oliech after all, and it might be too late for Nantes to hold on to the star striker.

High School's Hottest Honey

If Nonini had seen this chiquitta before his famous, " Gi-gi-ga-ga-ga" quote, he would have replaced those mumblings with the name Tracy Kaloki. This 18 year old teenie from Statoe recently won The Insyder's Hottest High School Honie competition, to win herself a cover on Kenya's most influential magazine (u know who we be!) and a year long contract with leading modelling agency, Real Concepts International. Get to meet this hot and sassy girl in the January 2007 issue of The Insyder out now. In this issue, she let's loose on her ambitions, boys and defending the rep of her famous high school Statoe.

Nonini Leads CHAT Awards Nominations!

Sio lazima Nonini ashinde a Fanta CHAT Award, but the controversial Genge luminary and former CHAT Award winner has bagged himself a record 8 nods at the first stage of nominations of Kenya's biggest awards event. The nomination process for this year's Fanta CHAT Awards has been changed to spice things up. Instead of the final list of 4 nominees per category released every January, this year, an initial list of 8 has been released in a nomination phase dubbed "The First Wave." This list will be whittled down to the 'usual' 4 to kick of "The Second Wave" of nominations beginning February this year. The accommmodation of a larger spectrum of nominees has indeed made the initial nomination process more exciting and at the moment, it's anybody's guess who's going to make the final four.
Nonini has been nominated in 8 categories including Teeniez Male Artist, Teeniez Video (2), Teeniez Song (2), Teeniez Hottest Collabo (2) and Teeniez Most Scandalous Celeb. Another big winners are Doobeez a.k.a. Abbas Kubaff with 5 nods including Teeniez Surprise Artist, Teeniez Hottest Collabo and Teeniez Song, and exploding onto the scene is Chiwawa with 4 nods - the highest number for a debut artist. Citizen TV also makes an impressive debut with 4 nominations including potential 'Final 4' candidates in Xtreem Music and Tahidi High.
For a complete list of the Fanta CHAT Awards First Wave nominations, grab a copy of the January 2007 issue of The Insyder magazine from your school dealer, or at a supermarket, bookstore or retail outlet near you. For all you internet junkies, get your voting vybe on at www.theinsyder.com by clicking on the 'CHAT Awards' link on the home page. You can also vote via SMS through the number 7070. For more details on how to vote, log on to The Insyder website or cop the lastest issue of Kenya's most influential magazine - u know who we be!
Don't forget to book April 14th on your calendar, coz the 6th annual CHAT Awards will be going down! Ya heard?

Bamboo Drops 2nd Mixtape Album

Hip Hop ambassador Bamboo is on the grind in the states. The 2-time CHAT Awards winner is set to drop his second mixtape album, "Rumble in the Jungle" later on in the month. This is only 3 months after unleashing his first mixtape album "Mixtape Evidence" to an unsuspecting US audience. The first album contained the underground stunner "Damu Moja" which made underground cats in the US stand up and take notice of this Kenyan rhyme protege. It is not clear whether the album will be available in area code 254, but distributors Emerge Media Group (EMG), based in Cali, USA, say that they are working on a plan to have the album available on the net. Can't wait to have our hands on that one. Check out the promo video to Bamboo's next mixtape project, exclusively on The Insyder's official blogsite...CLICK HERE