Thursday, October 09, 2008

Ye Brings Forward Album Release

After originally being scheduled for a December 16th release date, hip-hop superstar Kanye West is now planning to drop his highly anticipated fourth studio album, 808s & Heartbreak, a month earlier than previously announced.
"I changed my album to November something cause I finished the album and I felt like it," the rapper revealed recently on his personal blog. "I want y’all to hear it as soon as possible."
This decision squashes any rumours that West would be having an album sales rematch with 50 Cent, whose fourth LP, Before I Self-Destruct, was slated to be released a week before 808s & Heartbreak on December 9th.
Last year 50's album Curtis dropped on the same day as Kanye's Graduation and 50 vowed that he would retire if 'Ye outsold him in first week sales. Kanye wound up winning the battle, selling a whopping 957,000 units to 50 Cent's 691,000. Ye's first single off the new project, "Love Lockdown," currently holds the number 1 spot on iTunes' top songs list.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Battle of the Lyrics

Floetry Fury
The Floetry Fury is a section in the Beat Lab column of The Insyder that pits the best lyrisists in high school against each other. Through a unique Wrap (Written Rap) Battle, two high school MC's go head-to-head to find out who wins 1,000 cash. In the October issue of the coolest mag on the planet - The Insyder, these yung guns are at other's throats...
In the Blue Corner: Kenneth Mwaniki from Kalimoni Sec
In the Red Corner: Brian Elvis from Kiiriria High

Kamangu Is Dead

Some really weird news just in - Kamangu is dead! Yeah, James Kamangu, the man at the centre of marriage dispute with television evangelist and Housing Assistant Minister, Bishop Margaret Wanjiru - ameukata.
Kamangu, who claimed to have been the estranged husband of Wanjiru, died at Kenyatta National Hospital from abdominal pains.
He rose to fame last year after went to court to challenge Wanjiru’s planned marriage to South African preacher Samuel Matjeke, claiming that he was her husband and had sired two sons with her.

Orange Network Reduces Calls To A Bob!

Well, when someone said that "competition is healthy" they definitely had the Kenyan mobile phone industry in mind - at least from a consumers point of view anyway. I just heard that beginning immediately, phonecalls from Orange to Orange will now be a bob! Yeah, you read it right - 1 bop! Shillingi moja! Wahead! Imwe! Achiel! So, if I were you, I'd stop reading this blog and get me an Orange line like right away!

We know that big brotha Safaricom kinda lengad Zain when they introduced the Vuka tariff of 8 bop across all networks, but people-can they really continue lengaing such offers? At the end of the day, something's gotta give.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Don't Mess With Obama Nation!

A leading American author has been detained by immigration authorities as he tried to launch a book smearing our man Barack Obama. Jerome Corsi was this morning being held after failing to get the proper papers allowing him to conduct business in our country. The dude had been planning to launch his book, entitled The Obama Nation Leftist Politics and the Cult of Personality, before travelling to one of Nairobi’s slums to donate money to the Senator’s half-brother George, who he claims in living in squalid conditions in Nairobi. Incidentally, this dude was going to donate 1,000 US dollars to George. I can't help but wonder; is that all McCain could afford? LOL! Dude forgot we're Kenyans baby - the most dedicated people on the planet! We can't sell Obama - he's not for sale, he's the next president of the US of A.

Anywayz, our eagle-eyed coppers swooped into action hours after Dr Corsi was aptly described as the author of a smear crusade by local newspapers who saw through his 'launch' facade. Immigration officials said he had been detained because he did not have a work permit, however one of Dr Corsi's assistants said he was "just answering some questions" - yeah, right! Corsi must have forgotten that in Kenya, no one is above the law, even Republicans...LOL!
In the promotional literature for his book, Dr Corsi promised to reveal sinister links between Kenyan politicians and Mr Obama. "Dr Corsi will also expose details of deep secret ties between US Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama and a section of Kenya government leaders, their connection to certain sectoral groups in Kenya and subsequent plot to be executed in Kenya should Senator Obama win the American presidency," it said.
We only have one thing to say to Dr. Corsi, "WEWE NA MCCAIN WAKO MSHINDWE!"

Monday, October 06, 2008

Sheila Under UTIlized Evictee

Nigerian Big Brother representative, Uti, is escorted out by show host KB last night. Picture courtersy of Multichoice Kenya Ltd.
Now that Naija representative in the Big Brotha hauz Uti is out, don't you think that Sheila's time in the house is also nigh? Gal has been clinging on to tha Naija broda mon like he is (was) oxgyen. Now that oxygen supply has been cut, is our gal goin' to suffocate. Anywayz, I checked out the Big Brotha website just to find out how peeps in Africa voted, and I was shocked that you guyz wanted Munya out..wharrrr? Anywayz, here's a breakdown of how the continent voted:

Munya was voted out by Angola, Ghana, Kenya, Nigeria, Uganda, and the 13th vote composed of the rest of Africa.

Uti lost by just one vote: he had Botswana, Malawi, Namibia, South Africa, Tanzania, Zambia, and Zimbabwe against him.

Ricco got no votes. (This Ricco dude should be called Ricco Suave - he's a sneaky bastard who might just win this thing)