Saturday, November 22, 2008

International Acts: Kenya Starting To Catch Up With TZ

With the recent increase of international acts performing in the country, it won’t be long before Kenya catches up with TZ in terms of attracting international music stars. At least if the trend continues.
Let me take you back about 8 years ago: Remember when Tanzania had more mobile phone subscribers than Kenya? It’s hard to imagine now that Safaricom has more subscribers than all mobile phone subscribers in TZ! So, the same logic can be applied when it comes to international music stars performing in TZ: right now they are flocking to Tanzania, but it’s only a matter of time before we catch up with our neighbours.
Like our Tanzanian brothers, could Kenyans finally be willing to pay top Dollar to see the hottest international acts, instead of spending all their money in the bar? Have Kenyan promoters become more reliable, instead of conning the public? Are corporate sponsors finally playing ball with promoters? Could all this have anything to do with Obamamania? I think all those factors influence the recent influx of international star power into the Kenyan entertainment scene.

For those of you who think that I’m just writing this to create hype, check out this itinerary of international stars hitting the country in November and December only:
November 15th: The Game
November 29th: UB40
December 6th: Mr Vegas
December 12th: Ludacriss
December 31st: There are rumours of Weezy

Friday, November 21, 2008

Why Lewis Hamilton Needs To Dump Nicole

Dear Mr. Hamilton,
You need to seriously think about your current relationship with leech...sorry, girlfriend Nicole. Look at me getting ahead of myself...

First things first; massive hi 5 for becoming the first non-Caucasian to win the Formula 1 championship. Now down to the grimy; PLEASE DUMP NICOLE, MR. HAMILTON!
I can understand that you probably brag to your boys about having the lead singer of the Pussy Cat Dolls as your girlfriend, but dude – you’ve been there, done that and got the tattoo! It’s time to move on.
When you first thought of hitting on her…and then it worked (I can bet she’s the one who hit on you), it must’ve felt great! I mean, which dude wouldn’t love going out with Nicole…but that was when she might’ve had more mullah than you! Now, you’re set to become the richest sports personality in the globe…dude, you’re going to be earning more than Tiger Woods for crying out loud. Dump the chiquitta and move on!
What’s the point of raking in 150 million dollars a single year and you’re going out with ngovano who’s seven years older than you?! Do you want to tell me that there are no steamy, young, sexy, young, successful, young, voluptuous…young British lasses? And if you prefer international flavour, I still pose the same question.
As you turn 24 next month, let me help you out; here’s a list of steamy, young, hot lasses, all under the age of 24:
Leona Lewis (Gee, you even share a cute)

Keeley Hazel (Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like this)
Rihanna (Chris Brown’s got nothin’ on you mate)
Lauren London (Get your lil' freak on with this tart)
Ciara (Dude...I mean?)
Chanel Iman (Let's just say even McLaren's gonna want your girl)
Vanessa Hudgens (Well, she's 20 you know-legal)
Angela & Vanessa Simmons (Papa can't even preach)
Scarlet Johansson (the white girl your papa warned you against)
Ana Ivanovic (Even I vana play a lot...of tennis)

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

JuaCali Set To Launch Hot, New Album!

King of Genge, JuaCali, launches his sophomore (second) album on December 31st at the KICC. The Calif Records General is expected to perform for the very first time with a live band. The star is said to be apprehensive, but rehearsing very hard to get his live band performance on point. Others expect to represent for Jua include Mejja, Madtraxx, Jimwizzy, AY, Z Anton, Flexx, MOG, Alpha Msanii and Toxic Dancers.
Entrance to the even will be 400/- and 1,000/- for VIP. Advance tickets are retailing for 300/-

For your opportunity to win FREE VIP TICKETS: In not so many words, but being very critical and creative, please tell us; Do you think that it is a good idea for a hip hop artist like JuaCali to use a live band in his performance?

Monday, November 17, 2008

An Open Letter To Nonini

Dear Hubert,
My friend: If you happen to see my grief and should you say to me, as Gidi said to Maji, “What’s wrong with you?” I fear that I cannot answer you without engaging my fists. Therefore, dear friend, I write this letter as an expression of my grief as to how you have treated me.
Dear Herbo, I am indeed concerned with your selective memory as exhibited in your latest outing, ‘Kumbuka.’ Herbo, as you reminisce about the days gone by and the first person you kissed, you forgot someone who played a vital part in you becoming Nonini.
Nakitare, I remember as if it was yesterday, when we shared such great moments. How could you forget all these great times? Dude, tumetoka mbali mseiya!
Remember, if you will, back in ’01 when we went to perform in Mang’u High. Do you recall how you brought the house down and the boys refused to go for their supper? Noo-nini! Ninaninini!
Can you rewind to that moment in ’02 when we went to Nairobi School? Do you remember even the female teachers getting on stage with you and your boy Jua? Hizo vidoleee...
Do you remember in November the same year… you stopped the show at Leavers Rock? You got on stage with a humongous motor cycle and teeniez countrywide didn’t stop talking about the stunt?
Rewind to ’04 and the whole world turned against you! Or did they? We provided you with the platform to redeem yourself…Favourite Male Artist the teeniez screamed! Despite the fact that Redsan was ‘Apakatweing’ them and Prezzo was redefining bling culture. Where are the haterz now?
When we started out, the both of us, we were nothing. No one knew about us. No one cared. We just did our thing, to the best of our ability. Now that you’re somebody, you’ve chosen to have selective memory. You’ve forgotten about the tough path we traveled over 8 years ago. Well we haven’t forgotten those days that shaped you…take a look at these pictures and refresh your memory

Yaani, after all those years hauwezi kutukumbuka?

Mr. Vegas To Perform in Nairobi on December 6th

Dancehall superstar Mr. Vegas is expected to make his maiden Kenyan performance at Uhuru Park on December 6th. The performance will be to mark the launch of the Vijana Tujipange AIDS awareness initiative. It is not clear how long the artist is expected to perform, but Kenyans can expect him to belt out his top hits including, “Heads High” “Pull Up” “Hot Wuk” “Hot It Up” amongst others. Keep it locked for more updates...