Friday, November 21, 2008

Why Lewis Hamilton Needs To Dump Nicole

Dear Mr. Hamilton,
You need to seriously think about your current relationship with leech...sorry, girlfriend Nicole. Look at me getting ahead of myself...

First things first; massive hi 5 for becoming the first non-Caucasian to win the Formula 1 championship. Now down to the grimy; PLEASE DUMP NICOLE, MR. HAMILTON!
I can understand that you probably brag to your boys about having the lead singer of the Pussy Cat Dolls as your girlfriend, but dude – you’ve been there, done that and got the tattoo! It’s time to move on.
When you first thought of hitting on her…and then it worked (I can bet she’s the one who hit on you), it must’ve felt great! I mean, which dude wouldn’t love going out with Nicole…but that was when she might’ve had more mullah than you! Now, you’re set to become the richest sports personality in the globe…dude, you’re going to be earning more than Tiger Woods for crying out loud. Dump the chiquitta and move on!
What’s the point of raking in 150 million dollars a single year and you’re going out with ngovano who’s seven years older than you?! Do you want to tell me that there are no steamy, young, sexy, young, successful, young, voluptuous…young British lasses? And if you prefer international flavour, I still pose the same question.
As you turn 24 next month, let me help you out; here’s a list of steamy, young, hot lasses, all under the age of 24:
Leona Lewis (Gee, you even share a cute)

Keeley Hazel (Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like this)
Rihanna (Chris Brown’s got nothin’ on you mate)
Lauren London (Get your lil' freak on with this tart)
Ciara (Dude...I mean?)
Chanel Iman (Let's just say even McLaren's gonna want your girl)
Vanessa Hudgens (Well, she's 20 you know-legal)
Angela & Vanessa Simmons (Papa can't even preach)
Scarlet Johansson (the white girl your papa warned you against)
Ana Ivanovic (Even I vana play a lot...of tennis)

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